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One of the powerful skills that parents can pick up and be coached on is the skill and art of building solutions with their child. Yes, today parents can actually pick up this powerful skill that coaches often use in coaching. So in this article, I’m going to share some simple ideas that you can consider as a parent.
In coaching, coaches often set the foundation for solution building first. This is the stage where we learn to build a sense of hope in ourselves and them. By doing so, we can tap into the inner resources available to the child and ourselves. Some important things to note at this stage are;
Not our solutions but exploring their preferred solutions together
Not a fixer of problems
Not our solutions but exploring their preferred solutions
Recognise that the first step is to be mindful of our own perspectives and preferences. We need to shift our focus away from our own defined solutions and learn to pay attention to our child’s perspectives and preferred solutions. The pressure that we have to come up with the one right solution for them, is then lifted from us. Our focus will therefore be on how we can build and strengthen our connections with them. Once we lay this important foundation correctly, we can start to explore common grounds and solutions together rather than what we as parents want for them.
Not a fixer of problems
When we view ourselves as an expert fixer of problems, we need to carry a comprehensive box of tools to be able to fix whatever problems we encounter. Instead of us trying to be “problem fixers”, can we instead focus on ourselves being better listeners to what our child actually need? In our eagerness to “fix” the problems that we see in our child, how may we have neglected our other important roles as a parent, mentor and coach to them? Very often, our child is being confronted by adults who want them to change at home, in school and in society. If we put ourselves in their shoes, how would we react if we knew that it’s another session of being “fixed”?
Here's a short video clip on how we can effectively build solutions as parents.
There is really much more that we can do today for our young people by being their mentor, their coach, their guide or sometimes simply their friend in this crazy world!
So today let’s start building solutions together with our child towards a preferred future!
If you would like to learn and develop more in this aspect as a parent, do check out my eBook “Youth Lenses” at this link: https://coachjoechan.com/product/youth-lenses.
In this book, I will be sharing a useful and simple framework whereby parents can adopt to apply in their daily interactions with their child.
Wishing you all the best as a parent coach in your journey ahead!
Regards,
Coach Joe Chan
About the author:
*Coach Joe Chan offers coaching services for parents and young people who have different concerns at home. He specializes in coaching parents to overcome their communication issues with their children by creating solutions together with them in the shortest time possible. With his training in social work, coaching and therapy, along with 20 years of fieldwork experience with youth and families, he is confident to bring your parenting to the next level.
For more information, check out his website here.
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